Thursday, January 15, 2009


Broken pretty much sums up how I am feeling right now. It's been a horrible week. I was so excited over Christmas because Carson was doing so well. Little did I know it would be short lived. The last two weeks have been horrible, especially this week. There has only been one night so far that Carson has slept all night and that was only until 5:30 a.m. Every other night since Sunday, he has gotten up by 2 or 3 a.m. and stayed up for at least three hours. One of the nights, he also went into Griffin's room and woke him up at 4:30 a.m. I can't begin to describe how exhausted both Emily and I are...not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, socially, etc.

I'm so frustrated because I don't know what else to do for him. He is exhausted, aggressive and just seems miserable. I ordered a new video and two new books this week. The video is titled Autism Yesterday and is the story of six families who have recovered their kids. I'm hoping this will pump me up. I just need to stay focused. I keep visualizing what I want life to be like for him. It has to happen. He's working too hard for it not to.

It's just hard to stay positive with the week we've had. I just keep praying that he will get better. It's getting to the point where it's hard to be anywhere, even with family.

Hopefully, this new therapy will start in the next couple of weeks. I just need him to be happy. He is SO FRUSTRATED all the time and it breaks my heart. I am so PISSED about this. I'm having a Whoa is Jay moment so bear with me.

Please keep Carson in your prayers. The more the merrier.


Anonymous said...

Carson is always in my prayers. I hate this so much, I feel so sad and yet - I know we just can't give up. The answer will come and I pray soon. As always we are here for you.

Anonymous said...

Autism certainly has its undulations. Please count on your friends during these low times...we are here for you. Anything you need without explanation. We can hear it in your voices, see it on your faces. My heart aches for you guys. Love you.